


Finding love again

by Cssandra



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:21:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23845897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cssandra/pseuds/Cssandra
Summary: This story is written for the Severus SNAPE  Bang from tumblr. It was awesome and a real pleasure and I would like to thank the mods for this ocasion.
Relationships: Fleur Delacour/Bill Weasley, Hermione Granger/Severus Snape, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape, Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, Sirius Black/Mary Macdonald
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story is written for the Severus SNAPE Bang from tumblr. It was awesome and a real pleasure and I would like to thank the mods for this ocasion.

## Prologue

I would like to dedicate this story to Jen, for without the power I was transferred, I would not have finished this. Thank you from my heart.

**Author's note: This story is written for the Severus SNAPE Bang from tumblr. It was awesome and a real pleasure and I would like to thank the mods for this ocasion. On**

**This story is a Muggle AU and where the characters are all almost the same age. Also, some of them are not related.** **Also, it is a song/musical fic. So each time you verses, imagine the characters bursting into song. The songs are originals, so to say, but they were inspired by some of my favourite songs over the years.**

**All the art for this story has been done by the amazing, amazing Spamelotte. I don't think I would have finished the story without you. Thank you so so much. You can find her on tumblr here:** https://www.tumblr.com/blog/spamelotte . Bevan on ao3. **We also added a picture besides the collection for this Bang, the drawing in chapter 8 because we felt it fit well.**

**The story was betaed by Oni, Sarah in the first half and The Great Snape Debate all chapters, sans the epilogue. All mistakes are mine there.**

* * *

_Life is worth living if you know how to live_

_What is important and what it is not_

_Life is a beautiful thing_

_One could cry and one could laugh_

_Joined hand in hand_

_Life is a beautiful thing_

_If you've loved and you've lost_

_Is much better to have known love_

_For love makes everything turn in their place_

_And switch and dance and change ways_

_Love makes life a beautiful thing._

The road to Cokeworth was old and mostly forgotten by the world. It was gnarled and battered and so dusty that if it was windy you lost sight of the little town in the forest ahead. The entire landscape became a cloud of smoke and dirt. But that almost didn't matter, for there weren't many people who passed the road anyway.

Cokeworth wasn't the last town on Earth; it was supposedly in civilised England, but for its habitants, it sure felt like it. Nothing ever happened and everything was exactly the same, day after day. The same people kept the town going, and their children were the town's future. No one really left; generations and generations of the same families lived in the same houses with the occasional wandering stranger settling in to do the same.

You had to wander to get there because Cokeworth wasn't a place that connected something to something else. It connected to nothing; just the forest and its animals. Although, from a spiritual point of view, that was an excellent reason to visit Cokeworth. It was beautiful and the older residents loved to reminisce about the days when they were able to roam free through the forest and swim in the clear river water. It was their idea of entertainment.

However, nowadays, the only place where you could have _some_ entertainment was "The Bar," which was the local pub, very unimaginatively named by the owners; a young couple so in love and happy that it made one jealous of their saccharine relationship. But they were just another constant in the town's life. All the houses looked the same, but The Bar was colourful and full of life. It looked small, but the inside was bigger and the good hearts that looked after it made it welcoming as well. It could be said it was the place of inspiration and where dreams were born. It had a small stage where students would come down and have their karaoke nights during Freshers Week or during Reading Week and it also was a place where the local theatre society could showcase their talents.

People of Cokeworth had dreams, aspirations, but few dared to go beyond what they knew, to go beyond the forest line and explore, to follow their dreams into the unknown. Leaving home to go to uni was a huge step already, living on campus, but leaving the town, was a whole new story. Few had even ventured to the nearby big cities such as Coventry or Birmingham. As such, there were many of the youth who only had a high school diploma.

It may sound sad, but most of them were happy, content in their lives there. Of course, there were people who aspired for more, but they were a rarity. Everyone knew everyone, and there were no secrets in the community. Or rather, _almost_ no secrets. There were few "mysteries" only the oldest knew of and they hadn't been passed down to the newest generations, as they were tied to events that the elders had sworn to take with them to their graves. Nevertheless, some of them weren't meant to remain secrets forever.

When you love and when you lose, your heart becomes fragmented, when you love and you lose in a town where everyone knows _you_ , you risk your mind becoming fragmented as well. The pain overcomes you and just dancing your way through life isn't enough any longer; so you stop moving altogether.

Even so, life wasn't meant for either; life is meant to be lived and that was a lesson the people of Cokeworth were soon to learn. Unfinished business cannot stay unfinished forever. The past always, always finds a way to come back and haunt you. The only way to move forward is to actually step out of the shadows and do something. Big dreams start small. So what if people say you are not good enough, or not prepared enough? You fall but you stand up and you try again. If you do your best, and you know you did, it doesn't matter what others say; you can look them in the eye and be proud of your accomplishments.

An actor is more than the characters he portrays, he is a person with feelings and hours and hours of rehearsal behind him. What you see on stage is just a touch of the work put behind it. Night after night, in the theatre on stage, the show must go on. Severus Snape knew that better than anyone. Sometimes pain helped in performing a role, but if you played a happy person, then one could see the talent reflected; if regardless of personal issues, you did a good job at it.

Severus was just an actor, but reflecting on his life in Cokeworth, it felt like he could have been a movie star with his story. But he was content now, exactly where he was and his years going from place to place had ended. He had found his dreams and his happiness; the road hadn't been easy, but it had been worth it.


	2. Chapter 1

## Chapter 1

It was late in the month of September and autumn had just started taking the torch from its brother, August. The leaves were still a brilliant shade of green, with just a tint of yellow at the borders. The Bar was almost empty these afternoons, with school starting and students gearing up for university at nearby Cokeworth University which had its campus a few miles southwest of the forest. Freshers Week had ended and midterm was still far away. The weather was a bit chilly, but it was quite warm for this time of the year and a good thing to point out, that there was no rain yet.

It may have been a small city, but it did have its special characters. Ever since Remus and Dora had taken up the ownership of "The Bar," and even before then, a woman dressed in a white dress came every day, ordered tea and coffee and sat down at the furthest away table from the entrance. Most of the time she was quiet, but sometimes she would have tears running down her face and quiet sobs could be heard. No one knew who she really was, she always looked down with her hair covering her face or she had her white veil on. The old people refused to say what had happened to her and as such, she had become a living myth of the town. _The lonely bride_ , she was called and many rumours and stories had circulated about her during the years. Most of the time she was left alone; many children believed she was a witch of some sort who had been abandoned by her husband and waited for young girls to upset her so she could curse them too.

Today, like any other day, she came in, danced with an unseen partner, then sat down at her table and ordered a coffee.

_"Leading a life without you is so sad,_

_I cannot imagine a future where you're not in my arms (where you're not in my arms)"_

"Please, please stop, William!" Remus said after watching the woman's sobs grow louder by each second his friend sang a sad ballad with his guitar. "You're upsetting her, and to be honest, the song is sad even for me."

William, a novice guitar singer who had graduated from Cokeworth University several summers ago, made a face, but stopped playing his guitar.

"Is it my fault? Each time she comes you keep saying I have to stop! I was here first, you know!"

Dora, Remus' partner, chuckled. "Technically, _she_ was. My mother used to tell me stories of her. The sad lonely bride who lost herself in grief. Mum wasn't one of the people who actually knew her, but she told me a little of what the other women knew. Leave her alone, Bill. If you want to sing, sing something happier."

William frowned at the nickname, but as he registered her words he jumped off his chair, almost dropping his beloved guitar in the process.

"You know about her? Do you know who she really is?" he asked loudly, and Remus came out of the kitchen in a hurry.

However, Dora was unfazed at his behaviour.

"You don't have to scream, I can hear perfectly well. And no, I do not know who she really is, but even if I did, it's not your business."

Remus looked pointedly at him. Bill—William, stopped questioning and went back to his drink, deciding to leave singing for another day. Hopefully, one without the bride around.

On the other side of the room, another girl was having her heart broken broken. Severus Snape had decided to break things off with his girlfriend in the same bar their relationship had started six months ago. He took her hand in his, trying to calm her down.

"Hermione, please, understand. I think it's better if we break up for now. Besides, we could still be friends!" he exclaimed, hating to see the tears building up in her eyes. Nevertheless, he knew that it was the right thing to do. He would end up hurting her more if they stayed together and he lashed out his frustration onto her. She was too good for him and too _in love_ and while he loved her too, her love was more than he had ever received from anyone. And he just...here he was still thinking of his ex-fiancee Lily who had broken his heart and left for London.

"What do you mean by that? I thought we were happy!" she said, apparently calm, but her eyes said everything. She was struggling to remain composed and with her head on her shoulders.

'That's my girl,' Severus thought.

"We were, I admit. But I do not think we can function together as a couple any longer. I need space."

Hermione couldn't believe what she was hearing. And she didn't want to; feeling sadness take over. She had never thought she'd be the girl to suffer after a boy, but she could feel her breaking. "Space? You don't have enough space with me? If you told me, I'd give you all the space you want. I love you, Severus!"

"And that's the thing! You suffocate me, woman! I need to breathe!" He'd done it now. Said the words that would surely make her hate him forever. Nothing less than he deserved, though. He had dreams, he wanted to perform. He was an actor and he had to leave for his star to truly shine. Hermione had her own dreams and they didn't match at all. The University of Cokeworth, while secluded on the other side of the forest, had some of the best academics and incredible research facilities. She'd worked so hard to get accepted and he didn't want to ruin that for her. London, for there his dreams lay, had amazing opportunities too, but the lab Hermione wanted to work in wasn't one of them.

_"Don't you understand woman, I've had enough_

_I need space, I need air, far away from your meddling affairs_

_I was planning to leave_

_But you bewitched me_

_You don't understand I love you but I don't_

_I need time and I need space_

_Somewhere away from this place_

_I need to go, oh! don't look at me that way_

_Please don't cry, I hate when women do that!_

_Please don't cry! I still won't stay! It's been decided, I shall go, leave me alooooooone!_

_Please...understand, I need to breathe, I need space;_

_Far away from this town and these people,_

_Far away from knowing faces_

_You don't understand, I have to make my mum proud_

_Proud of me_

_I have to leave_

_A goal to fulfil_

_But most of all,_

_I have to be alone._

_I need to be alooone._

Almost every kid from Cokeworth didn't go to their University, they wanted to see the world. A majority of students attending Cokeworth University came from other parts of Britain and Europe too. The University itself wasn't isolated like the town. It had a big campus with built-in accommodations, shops, and gyms. It faced the forest on one side, but the others had important roads in front. It was almost funny that you could find a quiet city near that big campus. The irony. He loved his town, but he wanted more and he wouldn't get it there. Severus saw himself on stage, where everyone would recognise how talented he was in the art he had chosen.

He wanted more than anything to make his mother proud. The only thing he knew or remembered about her was that she had been an actress and that she had lived for the stage. Wasn't that why she had abandoned him? If he were to be great, maybe she'd accept him as a son.

He had to sort his feelings for Lily too. He'd remained in Cokeworth not wanting to be in the same city as her, but he'd decided to leave at some point. However, he hadn't considered Hermione. He'd fallen in love with her. And yet, in that very fact resided his problem. If he loved Hermione, how could he still feel something, _anything_ about his ex? She'd broken his heart just like he had just broken Hermione's; the one girl who'd always stuck by him had remained crying at the bar.

Hermione didn't know of his plans; he'd always loved chemistry and he'd been into sports to impress Lily. 'As if that had done any good.'

And now he was heading towards the very place his former lover resided: London.

He remembered Lily's words before she'd left. _"Why do you think we could still be together, Severus? I will be an actress and perform, you should go to be a scholar with Hermione! After all, you know she wants you."_

_Severus had felt something change in him that day. She didn't believe in him, even if she was the only one he'd confided in about his plans._

So he'd stayed and somehow fell in love with his best friend. And now he was leaving. Was he any better than Lily?


	3. Chapter 2

## Chapter 2

Hermione couldn't believe what had happened to her: Severus Snape, love of her life, had dumped her. And in the very place where they had promised each other forever. _Forever._ The word had lost its meaning to her. She couldn't have stopped the tears falling from her eyes even if she wanted to; her sorrow was too much for her to carry. She'd always liked Severus, but he'd always liked Lily and the three of them were friends. Then Lily had left for London to become an actress—to be expected since they both were supposed to go to the University of Cokeworth—and had left a heart-broken Severus behind.

A year and a half later, Hermione was the one broken-hearted.

"My dear, what happened?" Dora put a hand on her shoulder and forced her to look up.

"He left me."

"What? Severus left _you_?" Dora sounded incredibly shocked, but Hermione had in a way expected something like this to happen. He had always made a point of coming to visit her in her campus dorm, but in the past month, he'd avoided her and even during Freshers Week he hadn't taken her on dates like the year before. And yet, it hurt so much. She put on her black coat, as if it could protect her from the cold Severus had left behind. She stood up and headed towards the door.

"Severus left you?" asked Remus, coming up from behind the bar, an incredulous look on his face. "Here? He broke up with you here?"

"Yes, here." Hermione wanted to go past him and leave , if she remained, she'd cry until the next academic year, she was sure of it. Maybe if she sang, she'd feel better. William— Bill, their resident singer-guitarist, seeing her intentions, started to play an old tune that he'd learnt long ago when his own heart had been broken.

_True love, it's tricky,_

_Catches you unware and alone_

_And you fall in its trap and you fall_

_And it's so dark_

_But they're your light and you can climb back up_

_But if they're gone, are you gone?_

_Darkness is so cold_

_Loneliness takes its hold_

_I'll wait for you my love_

_I'll wait until the end of the world,_

_You dream of red and golden,_

_I only dream of you;_

_The only light that I still hold._

_Oh, I only dream of you, my love_

_Some many others you will meet where you go_

_But I am the only one who loves you for you_

_You may have others, but I only want you_

_How can I move on as you said?_

_How can I smile when my heart is empty and sad?_

_You will meet so many more_

_I only dream of you, my love._

_I only want you, my......_

_Love."_

Hermione wiped the tears off her eyes and decided to leave. Classes were all she had left and she would rather study than remain in the place where her heart had shattered.

_"I shall study and then I'll leave far way, I could have come with you, but you didn't ask_

_You don't me to come_

_Fine; I won't, but you are gone_

_And I'm so empty_

_I never thought it would be you to make me feel alive_

_And then empty inside_

_Yes, I'll go back to my books_

_They leave me for my looks_

_They are loyal friends_

_As you were supposed to be_

_I shall study and I'll escape the memories_

_Living a lie for eighteen months_

_Or was it real?_

_My mind can't really recall_

_So far away_

_the happiness is gone_

_I'll be a scholar, just a scholar, I could have done it from your arm_

_I'll be a scholar, I can do it from nobody's arms._

_I'm brilliant, I need no you_

_I'll be a good scholar and leave for good._

While she started to gather her things, Sirius—Severus' friend, who'd stayed at another table so far—came over and gave her a hug. Hermione smiled a bit, if she hadn't been so tired she would have protested—his hugs were always too much for her—but apparently he knew when to behave too.

"I'll end up like her, just not a bride." _Just a lonely girl_

Hermione gestured to the woman dressed in white who hadn't moved an inch ever since she came inside the bar. She just knew that one day, she'd be like her, but in a library.

Sirius spoke and Hermione turned back to look at him. "Don't you worry, sugar pea." Hermione cringed at the ridiculous nickname. "That man cannot stay away from you no matter what happens in this world. He'll be back and beg forgiveness before anyone knows you've broken up in the first place. Trust me, he's lost without you."

The girl just gave him a sad smile, or rather a sad _attempt_ of a smile and left.

_I'll be a scholar, just a scholar, I could have done it from your arm_

_I'll be a scholar, I can do it from nobody's arms._

_I'm brilliant, I need no you_

_I'll be a good scholar and leave for good._

_I shall study and I'll be good._

Dora and Remus watched worriedly after her, while William was lost in his own thoughts and heartbreak. Only Sirius seemed sure they would go back together in no time, and yet, he looked worried as well.

_I shall study and I'll be good._

"Poor Hermione," said Dora, her hand searching Remus'. I can't believe Severus did this to her. He knows very well how it feels when one abandons you and breaks your heart. He isn't any better than Lily!"

"Sweetie," Remus tried to calm her, but she was having none of it.

"Let me go! I'll teach him! He'll beg to be forgiven. He'll beg her to take him back!"

The man shook his head. Remus understood very well why his wife was so upset, he was too, but nothing good would come out of it.

"Dora, you cannot force someone with things like this; it has to be done by their own will. And Severus will do so in the appropriate future. I am certain of it. Give him time."

William nodded his head in agreement as well.

"He can't stay away too long, he loves her."

"Severus will come to his senses. Remember when I thought I needed space from you all? That running with that James Potter would make me a cooler person? This is his version of that." Sirius stated, running a hand through his hair. Those had been bad times. He'd almost lost three good friends for nobody.

"Paper! Paper! Who wants a newspaper!" Peter came in rolling on his skates, but his cheery demeanour disappeared when he saw the look on his friends' faces. They all were very gloomy and sad looking.

"My! What happened to you people?"

Dora took a newspaper out of his hand. "Severus is being an idiot and broke up with Hermione."

Peter dropped the newspapers he was carrying in shock and almost slipped and fell down himself. Severus Snape had broken up with Hermione? "What? That is why Hermione was singing that song when she'd passed me a few minutes ago? She didn't even stop to say hello."

"I wouldn't stop either if my heart was broken," Dora murmured. In response, as a reassurance that he would never do anything like it, Remus took her hand in his and kissed her hair.

"He'll come back to his senses; he's bound to very soon. It's nearly October now. I bet you everything by the time December comes, he'll realise what a moron he is." Sirius sighed. He was trying to convince himself of it as much as the others. They had had enough drama when Lily had broken off the engagement, but that in a way, he'd seen it coming: Severus wasn't as good looking as James, the man who'd almost ensnared him too. Sirius had never told Severus about his suspicions; he only hoped the man had gone to find himself and not Lily.

The four friends could only hope, as Hermione's parting song still rang in their ears.


	4. Chapter 3

## Chapter 3

_"I am an actor and I will play_

_I will amaze you, you will love me_

_I am an actor and I will play"_

While saddened about Hermione, Severus was quite ecstatic about living his new life on stage. He was sure once he went to London, things would change. After all, they had received Lily with open arms and she hadn't studied as much as him about the art of acting.

"I can make you better," a voice said and Severus turned in circles to see who could have spoken. "I can make you someone everyone will admire."

Severus blinked. In front of him, there was a tall dark man, like himself but much more distinguished.

"Who are you?" he managed to ask the figure while glancing around the street. There was no one at the old bus stop. It was too late, or rather too early in the morning so not even the students from campus were around. He had come here for something, but he couldn't quite remember why he had come to Cokeworth University instead of just taking the train to London. It was all very weird, he decided. The figure smiled.

"I'm you, but _so_ much better. Call me The Actor. I will give you your heart's desire; you will be recognised by everyone for your talent, exactly like _I_ am."

Severus was in a daze. For a moment he thought he might be dreaming or hallucinating, but he knew himself a rational man; in addition, he couldn't imagine something so wonderful. Little did he know that any sense of rationality he had, had left him when he'd broken up with the love of his life.

_I am the star_

_And I am the student_

_I will teach you to be great_

_You will teach me to be great_

_I am amazing, a shining star_

_I will teach you glory_

_Fame will be your friend_

_Glamour and Excitement,_

_After-party after after-party_

_They will know your name_

_And they will clap_

_and they will stand up and bow_

_At each and all of your shows_

_Happiness I shall give to you_

_happiness and ecstasy of wonders of this world_

_I give you my word_

_Follow me_

_And you will learn how to bottle glory_

Severus followed the figure in a daze. He believed he had taken the bus hand in hand with the greatest character he'd encountered. If only he would have looked at the driver's mirror he would have realised he was alone and surrounding him were nothing but past regrets.

In his mind, he went to London and had the time of his life along with his companion. That night, he'd slept like a baby inside an old barn near Coventry.

And when the bright morning came around, he didn't see the animals surrounding him either.

What followed was the time of his life.

_I am someone great_

_I am someone special Filled with fame_

_You have to look, Seeker, for you I've come_

_My shining star to activate_

_Light and Dark, stage and crew_

_You will all know my name_

_And my skill will be remembered many years from now on_

_I couldn't have been happier, My time has come_

_I will start anew_

_And nothing is in my way_

_Heey_

_Yes, nothing's in my way_

"You will be amazing, Severus!" The Actor grinned with glee.

"I know. I cannot believe I am here, finally! West End, here I am!"

He was in front of the Adelphi Theatre, he really was where he was meant to be!

"Move, you insolent wretch! We have a job to do here!" A vaguely familiar man said, but Severus paid him no heed; all his attention was focused on the fiery redhead that accompanied him. However, she didn't seem to notice him.

"Let's go, my friend! Theatre waits for no one! Time runs and runs away from us! What are you waiting for?" the Actor clacked his tongue and pulled him away. "Come, the stage awaits you!"

Severus let himself be pulled, for the Actor was right. The stage awaited him.

_Now, dance and sing_

_There you go,_

_Here you are_

_Fantastic job you're doing now_

_You're a shooting star;_

_This is your moment_

_Take your bow_

_Enjoy this development_

_Cause you my dear are_

_A shooting star!_

"Yes, yes, ladies and gentlemen here I present you Severus Snape, our magnificent Othello!"

"...May I present... Our Hamlet, Severus Snape!"

Each time the Actor presented him to the crowd, there was more and more applause. Stage after stage, he'd made it. He was an extraordinary person to have done it. He was just a city boy as the song went, but he'd made it because he believed in himself.

All this time, however, he hadn't managed to figure out who exactly his friend was that he owed so much to. And he never seemed to be around when he wanted to ask someone about him. But he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. The Actor had given him what he'd wanted and he couldn't be happier.

He had even gotten a tattoo as proof that he had his fame and was skilled in his art. It was a very subtle art, the art of acting; one had to be born with it and definitely not be a dunderhead. It was a tough industry. But his mother had made it and so had he. He remembered the old song she used to sing to him. It had been such a long ago; before she'd packed up and left. He could remember just halves and halves. Sometimes, he wondered if he hadn't imagined her caring for him at all. Had she really sung to him the songs of his heart? Or had he heard them after she'd left the house, the TV on the music channel so the neighbours wouldn't hear his cries? He couldn't discern it any longer.

_A singer in a smoky room_

_I smell wine and dear perfume_

_Did I impress you now, love?_

_Did I made it now, love_

_And trust me I wouldn't fake it_

_Trust me when I say I made it_

_And even if I didn't_

_Then is your turn to try, love_

_Don't say I didn't warn you, love_

_Some win and some lose_

_What will you choose?_

_Don't stop, trust me, sing some more_

_Don't stop. Stage is there._

_Don't stop, don't say I didn't tell you, love._

_Life is a roulette, love_

_Where did your clock stop?_


	5. Interlude I

## Interlude I

"You know, it's not nice what you're doing."

"I know what I'm doing," said the Actor, throwing a dirty look over his shoulder.

The Scholar shook her head. "You think I don't want to help her too? She has to do it alone as you have to let Severus do it without you."

"I cannot. Exactly because Hermione is doing her own thing. Oh, she'll wait, but she won't wait forever, and he needs to see sense. I can't..." His voice broke and suddenly there were tears in his eyes. For a moment the image of The Actor faded, revealing a very old Severus Snape.

"I can't lose you again. I can't watch myself wasting years and years of my time when I could have been with you."

"Oh, my love." The Scholar's figure shimmered and instead of the ethereal woman, there stood an elder Hermione, but still distinguished as her 'avatar'.

"I know, but do you think this is the right way? If we are wrong..." She didn't want to continue, but her partner knew what she meant.

"We aren't. And we won't. This is my second chance. If he thinks I'm his dream self, he'll follow me; I'll be home when it matters, not in London."

"But your dream! I never could give up academics to come with you, I don't want you— _him_ to resent me for this. I came prepared to interfere, but I... can't. I'm sorry." She ran a hand through her hair in frustration. She was nothing better than a ghost if she was going to do nothing...but at the same time, while she loved Severus, she'd been content with her books.

The man shook his head and took her hand in his.

"Hermione, I know how that life goes. I've had them all, the fame and the glory; the money and the women, but nothing compares to you. I always thought I would have more time, but I didn't. I left my true friends for falsity and it won't happen again. I wouldn't have resented her, and he won't either. The day I realised I lost you, it was the worst day of my life. He has to find you, or he'll lose himself."

"She has to find you too, you know. London has universities that can measure up to Cokeworth and more even if there are not the same researchers. But she got lost in her intent to learn from best and forgot there isn't just one best."

The Actor smiled. "They will find each other. We'll make sure of it."

"Yes, we will."

And with that the Actor and the Scholar both disappeared, going back to their charges.


	6. Chapter 4

## Chapter 4

_"Come on Hermione! We haven't seen you in forever! You didn't even come for Reading Week!"_

Hermione sighed. Dora had been pestering her to come home as soon as she finished the last hour of term, and though she was going—she'd missed her friends after all—she wasn't exactly looking forward to the discussions that were bound to happen. And the reprimands that she hadn't come as the term ended, but rather a week later. She'd planned not to come at all, but her homesickness had gotten the better of her.

So what if Severus had left her? It wasn't like he owed her anything. She had known of his dreams, but she'd assumed he'd want them to fulfil them together. She had been wrong. He'd left without even so much as a goodbye.

With a heavy heart, she opened the door to The Bar. She'd been home to set down her luggage, but this...this was _home._

"HERMIONE!" shouted Sirius and ran to hug her.

Despite herself, she found herself smiling too. Sure, she'd made new friends at the college, but while Harry, Ron and Fay were amazing, she hadn't grown up with them as she had with Sirius or Peter.. 'Or Severus,' she thought with a pang in her heart.

"Hermione!" She heard more than saw her other friends coming up and hugging her.

"We missed you so much!" said Peter, once they all let go of each other.

"I missed you too, guys," Suddenly she felt guilty for not coming and not calling more often.

"Hey, don't go there" Remus had seen the flash of guilt in her eyes. He put a hand on her shoulder and continued. "It's alright. We understand and we're happy you aren't alone there."

Dora and Peter nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, this Fay girl sounds brilliant!" Sirius chuckled.

Hermione shot him a glare.

" _Fay_ has a boyfriend."

"Poor Sirius," William drawled, starting to play his guitar.

_"And she has a boyfriend_

_Our fair maiden_

_She won't take Sirius, siriusly_

_Our fair Fay"_

Everyone laughed, including Hermione. The five friends shared a look with each other.

"So, tell us, how's Professor Bagout's research going?"

Hermione grinned and started an animated discussion about human metabolism and what role iron and copper play in it.

_"Scholar, I was born to be_

_I will explain it all to you_

_Brilliant, it was meant to be_

_So I could save you_

_Everyone there is like me_

_Everyone I know loves free_

_The books and the knowledge_

_You so freely ignore_

_But nevertheless, it's good to be home!_

_Scholar I am, and yet I feel better in bar_

_Library is a sacred place_

_But home is where friends lay_

_And when Christmas comes I want to be sure_

_hat you understand what matters the most_

_You may be unsure or may feel pressured_

_But you will always have a place at home"_

The goodwill of the friends passed well into the night, though Remus and Dora had to take turns serving the customers. Bill and Peter had offered to help, but they had been refused.

In exchange, Bill had started to play his guitar.

It was quite a happy atmosphere in The Bar. But not all good things last.

"Hello everyone! Look who I've found!" Severus Snape, after two months of wandering England, had come back home, looking worse for wear and holding hands with an enchanting Lily Evans.

The majority of the customers didn't react, but some did raise some eyebrows at his looks. Hermione noticed he looked incredibly happy, despite the near rags he was wearing. Was he happy because of _her_? Lily? Seeing them together made her feel more alone than ever.

"We met at the bus stop! Isn't it wonderful!"

Remus and Dora were watching carefully from behind the bar, ready to intervene. Hermione looked much more like herself than the broken-hearted girl she'd been months before. They weren't going to allow Severus to hurt her again. Although, they still held hope that he would come back to his senses. They weren't sure what had gotten into him.

Sirius, always the one to smile, exclaimed, "Severus and Lily-flower! What have you been up to, my friends! We've sorely missed you here! How was London, Lily?"

Lily beamed, and while to others it looked genuine, to Hermione it seemed forced.

"Yes, tell us all about London, Lily" she drawled, while the others leaned in.

"It was amazing! It's a completely different world. You should have seen it, you know! We could have been the best together!"

Peter and Bill narrowed their eyes. What was Lily playing at? Everyone knew Hermione had no interest in that, all she wanted to do was research, not West End.

"What do you mean?" Hermione couldn't focus very well; Severus' hand in Lily's was distracting as much as it was the fact that he hadn't acknowledged her at all.

"Well, we all know you are not adventurous enough. That's why you settled here, didn't you? There are equally good universities in London too. Even better! Plus, everyone knows why you remained." Lily shot a look at Severus who was quite obvious at her implications. "Got together with my ex as soon as my train left, didn't you!"

Dora looked like she wanted to slap her former friend, but Remus held her back.

Severus, coming out of his happy state, put a hand on Lily's shoulder. "Of course not, Lily! I got together with her several months after. But we're just friends now, aren't we Hermione?" He glanced at her nervously.

"Yeah, friends." Hermione stood up and went to the bar. "Remus, could you give me a glass of water please?"

Lily beamed at Severus and he, in turn, smiled at her. Once upon a time that would have made Dora and Remus swoon at the cuteness, but now they felt like throwing up. Remus gave Hermione the glass and let her sit down on one of the chairs in the bar. But she couldn't really, she could only watch Severus and Lily sitting together at the other table.

Bill and Peter were dumbstruck with the situation.

"So." Sirius made eyes at Lily, though she hardly noticed, absorbed in Severus as she was," Tell us more about what you've done! You too Severus!"

The two of them stood up from the chair they had shared and turned to their friends.

_Baby, I was a star_

_Might have not noticed_

_But I got it all to succeed_

_And I did it all_

_Oh, London is a different world_

_Strolling around the Strand_

_Entering the Palace_

_Oh, London is a different world_

_You gotta have what you need_

_Might have not noticed_

_But I got it all baby_

_I've sung and I've danced_

_Beautiful amazing things_

_Baby, I was born a star!_

_I was born to perform_

_My life on the stage_

_In applause_

_Took the stage by storm_

_I worked hard,_

_I got the guts_

_Did what I must_

_Wiped my tears and hardened my heart_

_Off all the choices I've made_

_This is by far the best_

_Glory and fame_

_Everyone knows my name_

_Baby, I was born a star_

_East and West_

_Bow to me_

_It was meant to be_

_I was born a star!_ _  
_ _All I need was a path_

_Someone looked at me_

_And pulled me up_

_I was born to perform_

_Took the stages by storm_

_One by one_

_City by city_

_I proved myself more than a town little boy_

_Baby, I had the fun of my life._

_Totally worth my time!_

The six friends exchanged uneasy glances. They haven't heard of Severus on the big stages, or of Lily.

However, the two were quite obvious at the suspicious looks they were getting; and in Severus' case worried as well. Lily was dressed in such a way that she looked like she came from the West End, but Severus practically looked like he'd been living out of a dumpster, barring the smell.

Once they stopped dancing and twirling around, Lily gave Sirius a smile.

"I've been doing just fine. I only came here because I have missed you, my friends. But I am not sure how long I will stick around. Remus, Dora may I rent a room here?"

The two nodded and Remus searched for the keys under the bar. Almost no one used the motel facilities of The Bar. He was sure almost no one knew for that matter. Watching as she made moon eyes at Severus made him sick. She had been the one to break his heart and she'd taken him knowing how Hermione felt. He put the key in her hand.

"Second floor, room 6."

Lily gave Hermione another glance then turned to Severus. "Sev, I'm tired. Would you come with me?" She touched his chest and then went towards the stairs.

Hermione, hearing this stood up from her chair and promptly left. She had lost her desire to remain. Dora ran after her, and Sirius put a hand on Severus who had started going after Lily.

"Where are you going?"

"What's it to you? Or are you still crushing on Lily? Hmm?"

Sirius blushed. He did in fact still find her ravishing, but he didn't like her very much at the moment.

"This is not about me. This is about you!"

"About me? Come on, you're just jealous. Lily has yet again disregarded you. As if she would like a dunderhead like you! Now, I am a star. Just like her!"

Sirius felt like banging both their heads on the wall.

"What about Hermione?"


	7. Chapter 5

## Chapter 5

Severus stared at him, uncomprehending. "Hermione?"

"Yes, Hermione. The girl whom you've broken up just two months ago? You didn't even say hello to her and now you're ready to go into the room of your ex? What's wrong with you? Do you realise you're dressed in rags?"

Severus opened his mouth and closed it again. He didn't know what to say; in a way, Sirius was right. Hermione still mattered to him. Thankfully he was saved from answering by the bar's door opening and a young woman's rushed entering; she looked as if she'd run a mile and was slightly out of breath. It seemed that outside it had started to snow.

"Hello," she said to Remus," could I get a hot chocolate please?" She put some money on the table and took off her coat. She was dressed in a green dress, far too thin to be suited to the outside weather; but nevertheless, she was beautiful with long dark hair and startling grey eyes.

"Umm, sure. So, how did you come here? Miss...?"

Severus was surprised to see his old friend ask details of his customers, but he supposed it was to be expected since she was the only stranger to have come into the bar since that blasted James three years ago.

"Umm, Mary McDonald, sir." She ran a hand through her hair. For a reason he couldn't fathom she looked incredibly nervous.

"No reason to 'sir', me, Mary. I'm Remus and that is my wife," he gestured toward Dora who had just come back, Hermione in tow, snowed in and seemingly glaring at him.

"Oh, hello!" they both said, although Hermione's was a bit more subdued. A pang of guilt flashed through him remembering that Lily was upstairs and waiting for him.

"What brings you here, in our town?" asked Sirius, courteous as ever.

Mary paled a bit at the question.

"Nothing. It would be much better if you didn't know. In fact, forget about me. My name, you didn't see me."

The group of friends looked at each other and Severus realised he'd missed their camaraderie .

"Are you in trouble?" Bill was the first to react. He may have been an amateur guitar player, but he was, in fact, a sub-officer at the police station in Cokeworth. Gone straight from high school as Peter had gone into mail and newspaper delivery. Severus mused that the only one from their group who had gone into academia had been Hermione and he supposed Remus before he'd taken up the family business.

If possible, the brunette paled even more and put the mug down. "No... no, why...why would you think that?"

The seven friends now stood around her in front of the bar. Sirius tried to put a hand on her shoulder, but she flinched it away.

"Please, just mind yourselves. I don't want to talk about it." She picked her chocolate again.

Hermione and Dora signalled to them to leave her alone, so Severus and the others backed off.

"Alright, we will stop asking. You are right, it is not our business," Dora said and the others dispersed at their usual places.

"Severus!" Lily's voice could be heard coming down the stairs and the named person jumped out of his chair. He'd forgotten about Lily.

"Oh," the redhead stopped right in her tracks once she saw Mary. "You look familiar. Do I know you?"

Mary shook her head. "I don't think so." But her voice was small and let her head down even more.

Lily seemed to be content with her answer.

"Severus, I waited for you. Won't you come?"

"Ah, no! Lily, we want to hear more about his time away. Yours too!" Sirius jumped to answer, thus saving Severus from doing so himself.

"What is there to say, Sirius? We were brave; _I_ was brave and I left. Severus followed, but Hermione never could. London is too much for her. I suppose."

What followed, no one would have expected.

"Really? Do you think I cannot go right now to London? I can take the midnight train and go anywhere! It's not a matter of bravery. I merely chose what I want more. But you know what? I'll go right now. And I'll bet you I'll be in a much better place than you come the New Year." And she stood up to leave.

Surprisingly, the newcomer beat any of her friends in replying.

"No!" Mary shouted. "My dear girl, don't leave. I know it seems; like now you could do everything in spite of everyone, but it's much better not to go and stay and think for a bit."

_Leaving home is not as easy as it sounds_

_Everyone had their hardships_

_Everyone had their pains_

_It sounds a joy_

_And it may live to become one_

_But nothing is at it seems_

_You think you can do_

_You think you know them all_

_But nothing is as it seems_

_Nor as it should be_

_Trust me, leaving home is not an easy thing_

"Aha!" Lily interrupted her, "I knew I knew you! Sweet!"

Severus furrowed his eyebrows. 'Sweet?' He could see that the others were equally confused but relieved seeing that Hermione had sat back down in her chair. Looking around it seemed that the little customers that had remained late into the night weren't paying attention to their little episode. Thankfully, it was close to closing time.

"Sweet," Lily said again, putting a hand on Severus' chest.

"Sugar," whispered Mary, looking for some reason resigned. She stood up and came close to him as well. Behind her, Dora, Remus and Hermione gasped in understanding. Bill, Sirius and Petter, he could see were as confused as he was.

"Candyman," continued Hermione and Dora at the same time.

_It was really nice_

_When i met him on whine_

_Got black hair and dark tattoos_

_He was charming he was nice_

_Fooled me once, fooled me twice_

_He was sweet he was cute_

_I was a fool_

_Sugar cane he tasted like_

_Climbed on his bike_

_Bittersweet the road was_

_Candyman left me mute_

_Nothing I could do to change_

_He tasted like sugar cane_

_Sweet turned sour_

_White turned dark_

_I'll never forget how the eyes gleamed in the night_

_He was nice he was cute_

_But I was a fool_

"Well, well, well. Look who's left the auditions room. How have you been faring, _Madame_ McDonald?" Lily asked, glee on her face.

"I...I" Mary stuttered.

However, Remus and Dora had caught up on their song's meaning. _Candyman_ was a song, yes, but it had also been a nickname for a certain someone who had passed their town years before. They'd heard it once and it had been never forgotten. By their faces, Bill and Hermione had remembered as well. Sirius was staring at Mary and Severus at Lily. They didn't want to understand. Peter was thinking it would be better for everyone to calm down, he'd seen Severus angry before and he wanted no repeat of the performance.

"Lily," Sirius spoke, voice shaking, "what was _that_ about?"

Lily smiled broadly, but Mary whimpered and shielded away.

"Nothing, Sirius dear. Mary here, she was one of my assigned mentors, you see. She is a professional actress. Well, she _was_."

Neither of the seven friends liked her tone of speaking. They wondered what had changed their sweet friend into the person who was talking now.

"However she quit sometime ago. While _I_ have gone on to be better than I was."

"You're fooling yourself!" Mary exploded. She was still very pale, but her eyes were sparkling with anger. "You have _friends_! You've been gone for almost two years and they still care about you! I had no one! _No one_! Do you hear me? No one to tell me how to be better or how to do better. I can't understand you. I'd give anything... _anything_ to have someone. And you have your whole family and friends aside. Why are you even here?"

For a moment, there was complete silence in the room. Then the two remaining customers, the lonely bride not included, paid their drinks to Remus and left. Dora apologised to them, but they waved her off; life in Cokeworth was too boring for them to find the little intrusion annoying; they just had work in the morning.

Neither of the friends knew what to say to the newcomer's outburst. Hermione could see the truth of her words. Even she, still considered herself Lily's friend, ready to help her in any situation.

It was all a very complicated mess they didn't know what to make off, at least not until a certain character entered through the door.

"So here is where you have been hiding?"

At the sound of a voice she'd prayed she would never hear again, Mary turned white and clutched her cloak tightly in her hands. Lily wasn't doing much better, but she at least looked in control of herself.

The boys' eyes narrowed.

"James Potter? What are you doing here?" Severus shouted, eyes narrowed.

Sirius did all he could not to lose his mind there and then. Why would _he_ of all people search for Lily and Mary?

_Oh look at him standing in the dark_

_Oh look at him killing the light_

_See it feel it_

_Danger keeps coming_

_See the shark_

_Feel the danger_

_Cause makcie got a knife_

_And you can see it on his face_

_He'll take your life_

_He'll take your soul_

_Teeth like razor sharp_

_Who's scared of the dark_

_The teeth are bloodied from the many deaths_

_But you be careful of his knife_

_Swish and flick_

_He took your life_

_You're his and his alone_

"You're not welcome here." Remus took his phone in his hand, the police on speed dial.

"Keep your horses Lupin. I am not here for any of you." He grinned and Hermione felt chills go down her spine."I'm here for what's _mine_. She owes me and she'll pay for it." With that, he promptly pushed past him and took Mary's arm dragging her outside. The girl looked terrified but resigned.

Before leaving he turned and looked at Lily. "You better not try and fool me like she did, because I _will_ find you. And it won't be pretty."

Seeing that Remus was going to call the police and that Sirius and Severus were ready to fight, he commented. "I wouldn't do that if I were you. My boys here," he jerked his head and they could see that in the doorway were five armed men," will take care of you otherwise. Remember, I've been here. I know how the police work and how long it would take them to get here."

When he was almost out of the door, Lily shouted," Wait!" She didn't look very sure of herself, and Bill was ready to hold her back, but she continued "Don't take her yet James. She quit and I didn't. Take my money." And she handed him several bills.

He smiled a toothy smile and took them, his hand lingering over hers.

"Good my dear. I would have hated to soil myself with her, but I needed some sort of payment."

Hermione and Dora gasped, while Remus, Bill and Peter looked slightly green. Sirius and Severus were staring at Lily with a betrayed look in their eyes. However, the girl didn't see, her green eyes fixed on James Potter's brown ones.

James let go of Mary's arm only to take her face with his hand, forcing her to look at him.

"I still need more. She bought you some time, but not much. I'll take my fill before I let you go." He grinned. "See you soon, darlin'." James motioned for his men and while one of them was covering him, he left.

As the door closed behind him, Mary collapsed in Sirius' arm sobbing; the others were too shocked to speak. They were all angry and confused, but they were nothing like the anger they could see in Severus and Sirius' eyes.


	8. Chapter 6

## Chapter 6

"So that's what you have been doing since leaving me? Messing around with the likes of Potter? Entertaining him? You for saving yourself for that....that creature? He's no man, that is for sure!" his voice was trembling with rage, but the eyes had lost their anger; there was just pain. Pure unadulterated pain. Hermione flinched at that. She hated seeing him suffer, even if now she was suffering with him. She still loved Lily, no matter what she had done. And seeing the other faces, she could see they were on the same page as her.

On the other hand, Sirius masked his pain with anger; Lily had been one of the persons to open his eyes on Potter three years before; how come had she ended up with him of all the people, how had she chosen to remain more than two seconds in his presence, was beyond Sirius' powers of understanding. He couldn't think straight. How did it happen? And why? Mary was right, Lily had a family, if there was money she needed or something else, they would have moved mountains for her. Sirius risked a glance at Severus; his friend looked broken.

And indeed, broken Severus was. He'd believed that Lily was fulfilling her dreams and she was happy and instead...she had been catering to Potter. He wondered how long after she'd broken his heart she'd jumped into James Potter's arms.

Had she really changed that much? Severus had seen it when they met, she _had_ been acting differently but he hadn't realised how different exactly she had become. But after all, hadn't he been the same? Without Sirius' question about Hermione, he would have followed her into her rooms, despite everything she'd done. He'd been in such a daze. Hermione still mattered to him. Goodness, he loved her still, with all his heart. But he loved Lily too. And once upon a time, he'd promised to love her forever. Severus realised that he'd been so absorbed in what he'd been doing he'd forgotten about either of them; and now that he was back home, all the feelings came crashing at once.

"Why Lily? Why would you lower yourself this way?" Severus asked, and looked at her, hoping to see... _something, anything_ to prove that she was still that person he loved. But it wasn't to be. Her face changed in a way he hadn't ever seen it before and she glared at him, at all of them.

"Be careful what you say!" she barked and looked at everyone around the room with pointed eyes. Lily grabbed her bag and headed towards her room, not sparing them a second glance.

From the corner of his eyes, he could see Hermione and Dora trying to hide their tears with Peter and Remus dragging them towards a table and handing them some glasses of wine.

On the other hand, Bill and Sirius were looking at him, wanting to see what he would do or say. Severus knew that it was because of his former eagerness to join Lily in her rooms that they did, but he couldn't be bothered to care. The love of his life had left him, breaking off their engagement to pursue her dreams—he'd had at least that consolation. He'd done his best to move on, so she won't feel sorry for him if she ever came back, and now he didn't even have that. She hadn't been pursuing any of those dreams and Severus didn't know about that. The only reason he'd managed to get on with life after she left was _her_ , still her, always her, and now all of it had been a lie.

And Hermione, sweet Hermione didn't deserve that. But in a way, now his eyes were opened. He walked slowly near the closest table and he slumped down on the floor, aware of all the eyes focused on him. Hermione's eyes fell the heaviest. Severus grabbed Bill's discarded guitar and started stringing it aimlessly. He wished he could turn back time and make things right for both of them. He should have gone after Lily; this way he wouldn't have broken Hermione's heart.

_I stayed because I was afraid_

_What you said was right_

_I cannot feel_

_I don't know what to feel_

_You are not who I thought you were_

_I took a step_

_I fell in love_

_But I did it all for you_

_To free you of myself_

_And I freed myself instead_

_I tried so hard, to be someone else, someone you said I should be_

_I didn't give myself a chance_

_I threw it all away_

_For what or for who?_

_I cannot say_

_I fell in love with a wonderful girl_

_(Unlike you)_

_And We were gonna be together_

_For the rest of the times_

_And We were gonna be together_

_For the rest of the times_

_She was perfect she was true_

_She was everything I ever dreamed, she was more than I deserve_

_She is more than I deserve_

_I broke her heart as you broke mine_

_I never should have let you go_

_I should have gone with you away_

_And now she'd be, far away from me_

_She'd be with someone worthy, worthy of her smile_

_And her beautiful heart_

However, he regretted it the moment the thoughts crossed his mind. The thought of never knowing the joy and love of being with Hermione tugged at his heart, almost shattering it. Selfish as he was, he couldn't bear the image he'd portrayed in his head—her in someone else's arms.

He could see Peter and Bill excusing themselves to leave, and he tried to wave them goodbye, but his arms failed him. He even tried to give Bill his guitar back, but his friend waved him off and left. It seemed that everyone could see how pitiful he looked—how pitiful he felt. Severus couldn't even try to pretend otherwise; he just started to play his friend's guitar even more obsessively. Lily and he had learnt to play together—both jealous of Bill's amazing talent—it was their own special thing. Sirius had learnt long before thanks to his family, but he never bothered to play, nor he did like it to do so.

Severus followed with the corner of his eyes what the others were doing, his hands moving up and down the strings on their own accord. He could see Sirius showing a shaking Mary to her rooms and then reluctantly leaving as well, after a long conversation with Tonks and Hermione. For a moment Severus felt jealous of their ease with each other; he'd only been away for a few months, but his actions felt awkward around them, stilted; he didn't know how to behave, especially after what he'd done. Tonks joined Remus in cleaning up behind the bar, leaving Hermione alone at her table. The two then engaged in a quiet conversation, their faces turned from his view. He thought of going to her, he found he couldn't; he couldn't do anything but play with the guitar.

Lily wasn't who he'd thought to be or had she just changed.

As a flicker, Severus saw someone approaching him, but he didn't couldn't quite see. In a strange way though, he hoped it was Lily. But it was just ... the Actor. Severus wondered how his friend had managed to find him.

_Oh, don't you see_

_It's time now to move on_

_Be true to yourself_

_To what you need and what you want_

_Don't do it for her_

_Do it for you_

_Yes, life has cheated you, life has claimed her too_

_Life has changed both souls and bodies_

_You two are no longer the kids who left_

_Change is becoming who you are_

_Don't be angry with yourself, nor her_

_Choices are who makes us_

_Everything will be alright_

_In the end, everything will be alright_

_Just have to follow your heart_

_Follow your path_

_Choose your path_

_Flowers and roses_

_Or books and parchments_

_Follow your heart_

_And everything will be alright._

"Oh, will you shut up, please?" Severus turned and told his friend, missing Hermione's shocked face and the strangled gasp that came from her lips. 

__


	9. Chapter 7

## Chapter 7

Remus and Tonks turned at Severus' sharp voice, question on their lips to ask who was he talking to, for they hadn't been talking loud enough to reach his ears, and they hadn't heard Hermione speak, but looking at the girl question staring at him in shock, they thought better of it.

And all their questions fled from their minds when the door slammed open and a tall figure entered the bar. For a moment they feared it was Potter again, but instead there was a red-headed man, dressed in rags and with a dirty face, crying in his sleeve.

_Oh sweet girl_

_Where are thou now_

_My baby, are you gone?_

_Will I ever see your face again,_

_will I ever hold you in my arms like only a father could?_

_Has my baby grown up?_

_I failed you my baby_

_I failed you sweet ray of sun sent into my life_

_Without you there's only darkness left behind_

_Oh sweet girl,_

_Where is your smile?_

_Where is your laugh?_

_Who has the pleasure of seeing you near?_

_Of holding you close?_

_Who has seen you grow up from a seed to a flower?_

_Where are you in this world we call home_

_Are you safe and well cared for?_

_Oh sweet baby girl_

_Where are you??_

The old man was breaking his heart but Severus couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. And he could see that his friends did too. They all had feared James Potter had returned when the door had slammed open in a similar fashion.

Instead, it was Arthur Weasley, Bill's father. Bill had lost his family in a fire, part of his reason to work in the force, but his father had taken the hardest hit. The old man was sure that his daughter was still alive, somewhere and everyday he walked the town and the neighbouring woods to find her, singing a heartbreaking song each time he saw people in the hopes, someone, anyone would know something, anything about his baby girl. He often played his violin as well though Severus could see it now, hanging in one hand, while with the other he was weeping his tears. The fire had happened more years back than Severus had been alive, but he'd never seen the old man so desperate until then. He briefly wondered what else had changed during his time away and wished to help the man somehow, for the sake of his friend if nothing else.

However, Severus knew Bill had tried many things to convince his father that no one but him had survived the fire, to no avail. Arthur Weasley wasn't crazy per se, he was just lost. One could still have conversations with him on good days, on bad days, all they could do was just listen to the violin or his heartbreaking song calling dedicated to his daughter. The poor girl had just been born when the fire had happened. Bill had been away in a camp and his father had been in a shop to buy a new violin—the talent run in the family— but all his brothers and newborn sister were at home. That was part of the reason while Bill never left. If he hadn't been at the camp, he'd have died and he wouldn't have to wear the burden alone.

Severus had never known about Arthur being Bill's father until his first year of high school, his older friend shielding him and the others. Remus and Tonks, off course they knew. They even remembered some of Bill's brothers.

Hearing the man playing the violin, made tears appear in Severus' eyes. He'd thought that it would be easier when he'd seen him ceasing to sing, but it wasn't to be. If possible it was worse. The final drop in the bowl fell when the door opened once more and he could see Fleur Delacour enter.

He looked at Remus and nodded his head in disbelief.

"Why did all the people choose to come tonight of all nights?" he asked and he could see Hermione smiling in return, as a consolation, but Severus could see the question in her eyes as well. She stood up to reach him, and he considered shrinking away, but then he knew their relationship would be forever damaged. He didn't want that. He let go of the guitar in his hands, putting it nicely on the table behind him, and then he stood up and sat on the nearest chair. She slid in next to him, and for some reason, he felt unnerved.

"I know what you're saying," she said in her soft voice, and with a pang, he realised he'd missed her more than he thought he did. What an unnerving thought.

"I came here to be with friends and family, ordinary life in Cokeworth and then you came back with Lily in tow. And then Mary... McDonald came. McDonald."

Severus had to chuckle at that and sparred a glance her way with an eye, while the other was trained on Fleur who had seated herself at the same table with the bride.

"Yeah, and the Potter came," he snarled, not being able to contain his disdain of the man. Hermione just acknowledged it softly. "And of course, the lonely bride, Arthur and Fleur had to be here on the same night as well."

It was her turn to laugh this time. Fleur was a French opera singer who had come to England following a man, the supposed love of her life, but he'd only wanted to use her talent, he hadn't loved her. Heartbroken, she'd settled in Cokeworth and came to the bar from time to time to sing her sorrows in an off-key song or drink tea while battling tears.

The four friends were both relieved and sad to note that this time it was the latter. It was too bad Bill had already left, he was the only one who could make Fleur stop crying by playing his guitar. They were both kindred souls, albeit in a different way.

Hermione felt her heart beating faster by moment, sitting next to him had brought back so many memories. And yet, she respected his wishes and didn't pry. She thought about asking him about the old guy who had been singing next to him and who had miraculously disappeared when Arthur had come in, but she thought better of it. Hermione reached across the table and after squeezing his hands she stood up and left. 


	10. Interlude II

## Interlude II

"She's leaving, why is she leaving?" the Actor was lamenting outside, not far away from the bar, but enough distance so Severus wouldn't see him, nor hear him.

"You're too desperate my dear. She needs time to think about what she'd heard and seen. It's a lot to take in. She saw you, you know. She failed to notice me."The Scholar smiled at her once lover.

"She saw me?" The hope in the Actor's voice was unmissable. "Then not all is lost, he might be happy yet. He may not lose what I lost."

The Scholar opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off."It's been so very long, but I remember like it was yesterday. I was walking home and I saw a happy family pass bye, it awoke something in me, something itching to free. I decided to go home, my real home—friends and family—but time hadn't stood for no one."

He turned from her, looking into the night, but not seeing anything, lost in the sea of memories.

_Want to go home tonight_

_I can't feel_

_I can't cry_

_I'm a fraud, am I not_

_Have I imagined everything_

_It's all in my head_

_And it's always has been_

_I'm not a star._

_I am not sure I am something at all_

_All the friendships i made, were they real or not_

_Was she real? Or she was part of ll this_

_Will I feel again something_

_Will i dream again_

_Do I quit_

_It feels like a betrayal_

_I want to cry_

_I cried so much already_

_I want to go home tonight_

_Be with my friends and family_

_I watch all the other houses_

_Full of light and darkness too_

_I see so many faces smiling, doing nothing at all_

_One of you is sleeping_

_One of you is leaving_

_And i am staying_

_I see lights, but I'm worried to light my own_

_I see people, but I'm so alone_

_Far away a man's working_

_Is that what he'd wanted all along_

_Or maybe he had another dream like me_

_And he is there now because he failed, like me_

_Is he alone, like I am now or maybe he has....family_

_It's so sad to be London when you suddenly wake up_

_And the friends you thought you had, have stabbed you in the back_

_See one packing, see one working; but it was all a dream_

_I want to go home tonight, am I going home tonight_

_I don't know, should I know?_

_Will my home be the same when I go back_

_I have changed, have they too?_

_Time has passed for both of us_

_Why do I feel so sad?_

_Isn't this what I wanted? My fate, my destiny_

_Have I just not realised now_

_Have I not played on stage, the stage has played me_

_All it's been for naught_

_Shall I say goodbye tonight_

_Can I say goodbye tonight_

_I want to go home I want to be safe and sound in the arms of someone I love_

_Will it be too late_

_Is it too late to go_

_Want to go home tonight_

"I packed my stuff and came down the next morning, but..."

The Scholar took his hands in hers and kissed them softly. "But we had moved on. I know. We...I had waited for you, but in the end, I couldn't wait any longer. Ron was amazing, but he really meant for Fay. I think I decided to ask and come down here to help you as much as to help Fay. Ron and I had been content, but they can be happy if he chooses her and not me. By the time he notices either of us, if we play things right, I will not be available."

"Do you think she'll be as content with me? I know Severus will be happy with you..." He couldn't stop his tears this time. "I would have been happy with you."

"I know, I know." The Scholar murmured, tugging closer and pulling him into a tight embrace. "She's going to be happy with you, my love. Happy."

As they hold onto each other, both of them thanked The Powers That Be that they had been given a chance to change their life filled with regret and guide their younger selves onto a same, but brighter future.


	11. Chapter 8

## Chapter 8

"Severus, you can stay the night if you want, but we're gonna close as you as the bride leaves," Tonks said walking towards him from the bar and putting a hand on his shoulder. With a start, he realised he was alone and that Hermione had left. When... when that had happened and how had he not noticed. Was this an alternate reality where his senses were dulled?

"Fleur left as well?" He noticed Tonks' eyes narrowing at his attempt to avoid Hermione's name.

"Yes, we called Bill to take her in, but I gather you haven't realised that either. He says goodnight by the way."

Severus didn't know what to say. Bill had come back? He checked the table for the guitar... it was gone. What was happening to him?

"I... I didn't notice. Tonks, I am so sorry, yes I would like to stay. How much for the room?"

She glanced at him and unexpectedly hugged him. "Severus, you're family. No need to pay and especially not now. Room 136. I'll put the key on the counter. Call us if you go upstairs before the bride leaves, we'll be in the back. If not, call us after she leaves." She broke the embrace and patting him on the head she left.

Severus wanted to shout after her, thank her, say anything, but he found that he couldn't. He contemplated what to do, he feared if he went upstairs right away, he'd go to Lily instead of sleep and he didn't want that. Sirius had been right. _What about Hermione?_ He was so deep in thought he didn't notice the bride standing up next to him and coming to his table.

"What!" he exclaimed once he saw her sliding down the chair next to him.

_Choices, choices are who are_

_If you give your heart the song says_

_If you fall in love_

_Then your heart is not yours anymore_

_Don't be afraid to choose to love_

_But choose with both heart and mind_

_Look at me, I lost my head_

_And it cost me my heart_

_I'm not sane, most of the times_

_I know I am alone and pitiful to look at_

_It breaks to see you so close and yet so far of what I've once been_

_Believe me when I say this is the hardest and easiest choice_

_You'll ever have to make_

_I have seen you from far away_

_I am proud, more than words can say_

_But you need to understand_

_Life is more than just career_

_What is it life if there's no one to share it with_

_I have seen you with the flower_

_I have seen you with the scholar_

_I have seen your eyes and heart_

_Oh, how they sparkle_

_With both scholar and flower_

_But trust me when i say_

_I have seen your smiles from far way_

_And they shine brighter_

_When you're with the scholar_

_Than they've been when you've had the flower_

_This ring I give to you_

_It's one ring I've never given up to_

_I know it's nothing_

_I know it's little_

_I know it's late_

_Far far too late_

_But i couldn't cope_

_I couldn't keep you with me_

_I had to set you free_

_But now I can see_

_You need me_

_To guide you_

_Take my ring and choose right_

_Choose your happiness_

_Your father had left for he had chosen wrong_

_And I let him do so_

_Both these girls would let you too_

_Don't make our mistakes_

_Take my ring and choose whom owns your heart_

_And let them know_

_Life is a choice_

_Choices are yours to make_

_Don't repeat our mistakes_

_Eileen and Tobias are no more_

_Son_

She quickly left afterwards, leaving Severus in a state of total shock. His mother? His mother was the lonely crazy bride? What was left? Was he related to Fleur too?

He didn't know what to say and, ignoring Tonks and Remus shocked gazes, he started pacing around the bar. He could see that neither had known he was the bride's child? That his parents' names were Eilleen and Tobias?

He wanted to scream, but she was right. He needed to choose. Severus turned the ring in his hand over, it was beautiful. Quite the miracle it had been kept for so many years intact or that she hadn't lost him. She'd really loved his father. And his father must have loved her, just like he loved—really loved—both Lily and Hermione.

But who was he in love with? Who did he want to give this ring—the only connection to his family—to keep safe forever?

_Who do I choose?_

_What do I choose?_

_I need some guidance_

_My own heart is playing with me_

_I don't know what to feel_

_I am numb_

_I am a desperate soul_

_What do I do?_

_How do I speak_

_Who should I spend my life with?_

The Actor crept in, unseen by the others and started singing with Severus, gently tapping him on the back to let him know, someone was there to help him choose. And choose he will.

_There's no choice to make_

_If you think clearly_

_If you close your eyes and forget everything else_

_See yourself laying in a bed_

_Morning cup of tea_

_morning rays of sun_

_And when do you turn_

_Who do you see in your arms_

_I have been with you for the past few months_

_You've been doing your dreams art_

_You've been on stage_

_You've tasted the fame_

_Where you've seen the girls and flowers_

_I have seen you_

_And who you longed for too_

_You longed someone that you know_

_You glanced at flowers_

_But you adored the books_

_Every time Shakespeare played_

_Your heart soared and cried at once_

_What is the choice you're torn upon_

_For I have seen it long before_

_There is no choice at all_

_You can have it all_

_But i made you have none_

_See where you've been_

_See what you've done_

_You didn't want to be alone then_

_Don't do it now_

_Here's your chance_

_One in a lifetime_

_Don't throw it away_

_Don't make the same mistakes_

_I did when I was in your time!_

_What choice there is to make_

_Listen to your heart speaking out loud_

_When the morning comes_

_Whose arms do you reach for?_

_Here's your chance_

_One in a lifetime_

_Don't throw it away_

_Don't make the same mistakes_

_Scholar or Flower?_

_Actor no more_

_Severus_

And he disappeared. Severus had listened with growing desperation as he realised that everything he'd thought he'd one wasn't real. The only thing real was what the Actor said. He _had_ longed for Hermione. He'd done it from the moment he'd left her in tears in the very bar he was now.

And everything had been for nothing. He wasn't an actor, he wasn't famous even if he'd felt it and seen everything. Now it looked like it had been someone else's life. But a life... what kind of life would that be? His mother and..whoever that guy was were right. He had a choice, but there wasn't a real choice. He needed her... his Scholar. His Hermione.

He'd moped around dressed in rags for too long. He hadn't been in any theatre Severus realised. All the better, the first time, he could go with her. He'd go with her.

He wiped the tears off his face and decided to go after her into the night. But it seemed that the future had other plans, for no sooner that he stopped crying, the door slammed open for the third time that night and the very object of his thoughts ran in his arms.

"Severus? Severus, what's wrong? What happened? Why are you crying? Remus and Tonks said you wouldn't stop?"


	12. Chapter 9

## Chapter 9

_"Severus? Severus, what's wrong? What happened? Why are you crying? Remus and Tonks said you wouldn't stop?"_

He barely registered her words. He was too entranced by her appearance in his arms. He hadn't held her in so long. It seemed an eternity had passed and he'd missed the feeling of her. But when her words did register, he took a step back, shocked.

"What did you say? They called you here?" He looked frantically around, but neither of their friends could be seen.

"Sev," she called to him and he could feel her hands on his shoulders, turning him around gently to face her again," they locked the place for the night and went to sleep. They're not here. We're alone."

"What? They closed? We're alone?" he knew he was sounding as confused as he felt.

"You were hysterical after the bride left. You were talking with thin air apparently and calling my name and crying at the same time. They couldn't snap you out of it and they said you've really been out of it all night after I left. Even before you looked a bit weird to me as well."

"So...you came? Just like that?" After everything he'd done, after the way he'd hurt her? He felt tears coming back in his eyes. And wait... alone? Was the Actor just in his imagination? A magical creature only he could see?

"Severus, just because we broke up, doesn't mean I don't care for you any longer. I still love you," she stated and there was nothing to stop his tears then.

"Hermione, Hermione, Hermione," he murmured over and over, like a prayer.

"Shh," she whispered, "what's wrong, what happened?"

"Nothing and everything," he spoke and he considered singing, but he had no power left in him. He could see her brow furrowed in confusion, but thankfully she said nothing. "There was this guy I met after I left. He called himself the Actor and he said he'll make my dreams come true. I don't know how he did, but he did make them happen. But they weren't real. That's why I'm in rags and I didn't even notice. I'm just me. He left a few minutes ago, but before he did, he told me some things. How I have to choose what I want and to think if I was really happy when dreams were fulfilled."

"Were you?" she asked, her question nothing more than a whisper.

"No. That's what he made me realise. I wasn't happy, not truly. I realised tonight that things have changed here a bit, even just a bit, but they did. I barely came back and it was because of him that I did it in the end. He made me understand what I was missing. I may fail as an actor or I may not, but I don't want to do it alone. Breaking up with you was a mistake. I guess Sirius and Remus were right, I do always keep coming back to you. I just don't know if you'll have me this time."

He raised his eyes to stare at hers and he couldn't say how many emotions he saw reflected there. But the most of all he saw...what he'd always seen when looking at her: love.

"Severus, I need you to respect me first. You left without a real explanation, you just said things to hurt me. I saw the guy you're talking to. He looked off his rocker, you know. I think you can be a great actor, who has this layer of understanding life and putting yourself in another's place. I know you can make it."

_You have that something special_

_I've always seen it in you_

_You were made for others to see it to_

_I dreamed we'd be together_

_And then you left_

_My heart knew it wasn't for the best_

_I believe you can make it_

_You just have to really try_

_And you have to decide_

_If when you're doing it you're mine_

_If you're mine..._

"Hermione," he grasped her hands into his, "I'm yours if you'll have me." Severus couldn't believe she could see the Actor too. Maybe he wasn't that crazy. It could only mean she really was the only one for him. He put the ring in her hand.

"Earlier, I found out who my mother was. The lonely bride. She had me before the wedding and my father left her at the altar. She said he loved her and she loved him, but he loved someone else too. And he chose wrong and broke her heart. She told me to think so I don't repeat his mistakes. _Their_ mistakes. She didn't abandon me, she went crazy with grief. It made me think. And then the Actor came."

"Severus," Hermione was speechless. He could see she hadn't expected his words. "You found your mother? The lonely bride? Oh, Severus!" and she hugged him so tight, he felt like crying again. He willed himself not to. He needed to keep his calm if he were to ask what he wanted to ask of her.

"Yeah, more like she found me. I was alone here and she just came over. How many times she's been here and she never said anything, until now. But it was the right moment in a way. I needed someone to show me, to tell me what to do. I'm sorry. You're right, I should respect you more. I should have respected you more and told you about my decision to leave and the reasons behind it."

She was watching him, but Severus couldn't read her. He could only just continue his unprepared speech.

"I want to tell you everything from now. I want to share everything with you. They both made me understand that. I love you too. I loved you when I broke up with you and I loved you even when I was ready to accept Lily's invitation in her room. I wish I could tell you exactly why I did that, but I cannot. What I can say is that I would have broken her heart for you in the end. I need you more than I need air. Please forgive me?"

"Severus," was all she said and looked down at the ring in her hands. "I forgive you."

"My mother gave me that ring. That's all she's ever really kept from everything she'd had before. It's yours if you want it. I promise I will never let you go again."

"You mean..." her eyes for once were open and he could see her answer before he asked.

"Will you marry me?"

Silently, she put his ring on her finger and leaned down to kiss him. Severus knew then that everything would be alright. 


	13. Chapter 10

## Chapter 10

_"Will you marry me?"_

Lily knew it had been foolish to hope Severus would come to her, especially after James Potter had come in and had all but announced for the world that she was working for him. She hadn't seen it before, now she could see that her two friends had really fallen in love with one another.

She didn't want to break their moments with her tears and sadness, so she slowly went back to her room and cried on her pillow. It was time to move on for her as well. After hadn't she broken his heart first? Hadn't she been the one to cut their relationship off?

_"Will you marry me?"_

Severus had once asked her the very same words and she'd been the happiest girl alive. Funny how things changed. Hermione had been the one to suffer then, liking Severus from the start but never saying anything because Severus had loved _her—Lily—_ and all three were friends.

In the solitude of her room, Lily paid attention to see when Severus and Hermione would come up the stairs, but when they did, she heard them entering separate rooms. She didn't know if it was for her that they did or because of Remus and Tonks, but she was grateful nonetheless.

That night she didn't sleep at all, just listened to the silence and contemplated her future. When she'd decided to come back, it had been purely curiosity, but now that she was home, she wasn't sure if she wanted to leave any longer.

Could she say goodbye again? Could she go to James again? Once she'd thought she could change him, but she wasn't so sure she changed anything at all.

_I never thought I'd be here again_

_Another choice in front of me_

_Do I leave or do I stay with my family?_

_London was fun_

_James wasn't so bad_

_But being here again_

_Awoke something deep inside of me_

_Seeing you again_

_Brought so many memories_

_Loving you, cherishing every moment of it_

_I thought it was over_

_And then you took my hand in yours_

_And everything felt right_

_I know it was a dream_

_But you felt it too_

_However is all over now_

_And I'm not sure what to do_

_Should I stay or should I go away again_

_Can I stay if you're smiling at someone else_

_Can I stay and watch you go about your day?_

_I thought it'd be easy_

_Come in for a quick chat_

_I did not see_

_I did not think_

_I'd feel this way again!_

_Oh what should I do?_

_I still feel something for James too!_ _  
  
_

And Lily was conflicted. She still cared so much for Severus, but James despite everything, she couldn't deny she'd stayed with him hoping he'd see her more than a way to make money. She couldn't deny though he was an awful person.

A violin sound woke her up from her musings. Lily realised that dawn had come and gone and that the sun was shining in the morning light. The music was beautiful and not..sad like Arthur Weasley usually played. She grabbed her coat and went downstairs, eager to see who was playing, for she knew it couldn't be the old man.

To her surprise Peter was holding the violin, Arthur staring proudly at him, Bill and Sirius smiling broadly at their friend; Sirius' arm around Mary's waist and Bill's around Fleur's.

"What happened?"she asked, conveying in her question both the violin and Sirius newly found affections.

Hearing her question Sirius came over, letting Mary and Bill to continue cheering on Peter's beautiful play and stopped two inches from her.

"After Bill took Fleur out of here last night, they met with Arthur. The old man said that they look together and that maybe he'll have new children soon. Of course, Bill didn't have the heart to deny. You know he'd liked Fleure ever since she came here. Arthur decided to give the violin away and accept help. It's a huge step, but you know Bill is the guitar guy. He doesn't have the patience for a violin."

"But Peter does?" Lily interrupted and Sirius raised his eyebrows at her.

"Yes, he does. He delivers the mail you know. Every single house and apartment in two neighbourhoods , sometimes more. He has to have patience. Also it's been awhile since you left. He had music classes several months ago as a summer course."

She could only nod. Life _had_ moved on without her.

"And you and Mary?"

Sirius turned and looked at the girl in question before answering his friend.

"I don't know. She's different. I'm sure you know that I liked you."

When she opened her mouth to speak, he stopped her."No, don't say anything. You don't need to. I know it was only Severus for you like just Hermione did that it was only you for him as well. Mary...there may be something, there may be nothing. She is sweet, but I helped her pay her debt to James. If there is something to be, I want to be sure it's not because she's grateful. I paid yours too, by the way."

"Sirius..."

"No, Lily, I saw you last night. With both Severus and Potter. Consider this your fresh start. You decide what you do with it. I'll always be your friend though."He hugged her and then went back to others, pulling Mary once again into his arms.

Lily didn't know what to say or do, so she settled into taking one tea mug from Remus and going outside. It was a nice day despite the low temperature. The sun was out and snow was sparkling, it was quite beautiful.

"Hey, Lily," said a voice she never thought would hear this soon.

"James," she murmured and turned to face him.

"Sirius paid off what would have been your debt if you would have quit. I suppose you're free to do so now."

"I suppose I am."

"I haven't touched anyone since the night I," he fumbled with his word, " _tested_ you."

"Why are you telling me this?" She didn't know what to make of his words. Was this a trick so she would stay with him?

"I'm leaving today. I know what I am, Lily. I know _who_ I am. And I don't think I can change, even for you. After all, if I were a better man, I would have just left. Goodbye."

He walked away and she couldn't help but stare until he disappeared from her sight.

"I see Potter left." Severus' voice startled her. She hadn't expected him to want to talk with her again anytime soon.

"Yes, he did." She turned to him and tried to smile. "I saw you last night. You and Hermione. Congratulations are in order I suppose. I hope you two will be happy. I don't know two people who deserve it more."

He looked at her quizzically.

"So you don't mind?"

"I would be lying if I said I didn't, Severus. I love you, you were my first love. But—"

"You were mine too," he interrupted her and leaned in to kiss her cheek. "But we both have someone else now."

She blushed scarlet red and took a step back. "I ... I don't. You all know what I was doing with James."

He chuckled and took her hand in his."We do, yes. And I cannot say how hurt and angry I was with you. But I thought a lot last night. And after Hermione went to sleep I started seeing from the best friend eyes point of view. You may still feel something for me, but you feel for James too, don't you? I know you and the Lily would have never stayed with someone like him, unless there was a really good reason behind it."

'Would you still be my friends if I went with him again? Would Sirius hate me?" His question and his words had awoken something deep in her. The choice she'd felt she had to make had already been taken.

"Lily, we're always going to be friends.You, me, Peter, Hermione and Sirius. The five fantastics! Sirius already saw it. That's why he paid the debt off. If you do pursue you'll be equals. We only ask you to be safe."

She felt tears tearing down her face at his words. "You changed your tune a lot over night."

"Hermione and I talked a lot. And all the rest of us after Sirius told us what he's done."

Severus was looking at her with a little smile at the corner of his lips. Finally, he could recognise in her looks, the girl that had become his best friend in kindergarten and the girl he'd fallen in love with.

He had been so angry the night before, but now he felt at peace. It didn't matter if she chose Potter or not, or if she stayed or left because now she was his best friend again. His heart had chosen and he knew he was going to be happy with Hermione. He could only wish Lily the same. And in the end, Hermione had convinced him to try theatre again, to play and be an actor. Severus didn't quite know who the Actor had been, but he was grateful for the insight. It felt to him that in one night he'd grown a lifetime.

His smile widened when Lily excused herself and took off towards the bus station. He prayed Potter wouldn't break her heart. Even monsters had feelings or so he hoped. He waved her goodbye and turned to go inside just in time to see Fleur and Bill kissing while Sirius and Mary were holding hands. He went to Hermione, taking her into his arms and sharing a look with Remus and Tonks.

He glanced behind at the old signs on the wall. It did feel like coming home. 


	14. Epilogue

## Epilogue

_"James!"_

_"Lily?_

The two embraced each other and unknown by them the Actor and the Scholar were smiling.

"Are you pleased with yourself Severus? Our job is done. Though I didn't quite do anything."

The man, The Actor, old of days, took her hands in his and kissed them."You were my muse. I couldn't have done it without you."

And they disappeared, like they've never been there at all.

But the fruits of their labour remained. Severus Snape had married Hermione Granger right after she finished her degree and in the meantime, he took acting classes at Cokeworth University.

"Sev! I cannot believe you signed up for uni here!"

Severus could see that Hermione was happy, but her eyes held a worry he wanted to banish away. They had had an amazing time during Christmas, and she had accepted his proposal, but he realised she would worry for awhile that he would leave, and he had no one to blame but himself.

"Hermione, I love you. I am not going to leave you again. Ever. Where you go I will go. I don't need to go from place to place and act. I don't need the West End. It's you I need. How could I go to London again when you're. When the time comes, we can go together." He took her right hand and intertwined it with his and then took her left hand and kissed her near the ring.

"You've accepted my ring, me. You're never getting rid of me again, my beautiful scholar. Let's go. We need to pack for university. Classes start Monday." He winked at her, trying to make her smile. His speech had made them both emotional.

"Sure," she whispered,"let's pack."

Life has an amazing ability to have things come in a round circle. 'If you give something, you get something,' was Severus's mantra. And over the years of his life, he'd seen that come true in more ways than one. Peter came with him and Hermione at university and had studied music. He had become an amazing violinist and three years later Peter had come to play at Arthur Weasley's funeral when the man had finally been reunited with his family and sweet daughter. He and Hermione had been heartbroken to hear that and for Bill as well. They were glad they had had the wedding 2 years prior and Arthur had been in the front line singing at Tonks and Remus' bar. Severus knew that Sirius felt the same way. Mary McDonald had become Mary Black just a few months before Arthur had sung his last song. Surprisingly, at the funeral Lily and James had come after 5 years of silence. Fortunately They had managed to remain civil with one another, although they had had to make Mary keep Sirius in check.

After Arthur's death, Fleur had moved in with Bill, so he wouldn't be alone and three more years, they had their wedding. Severus hadn't known how to console the couple who regretted not giving in their feelings earlier. In a way, he'd felt unfair that he and Hermione had had Arthur in their wedding and his own son had buried him long before he'd even proposed. But when Severus thought about it, the funeral had reunited them with Lily. As such she and James had come to the wedding, but the former was a changed man. It seemed that the lonely bride and Fleur had made an impression on his heart when he'd seen them at the funeral and he had done his best to change and make sure Lily never suffered that way because of him. Severus was impressed, he had to admit. He'd hated Potter more than anything, but he had really changed.

Hermione had come with him to London after graduation and he'd become an actor in the end. Her faith in him had made him pull through each audition and each rejection from roles. When he'd gotten his first big part in an off West End theatre, she'd cheered him the loudest. That was all he needed. She had come to him on every tour he had done around the country with the company. In exchange he listened to all her protein talks and engaged in discussions with her old course friends, Harry, Ron and Fay. Those had been three more weddings they'd been to, mandatory invitation.

And when he'd made his first appearance on the West End, she'd been the one who had brought all their friends in the first row. How had she managed to make Tonks and Remus close their bar for one night, he had no idea. The brightest thing was to see his mother slowly regain her sanity around the kids that were his friend's children. Eileen had been in the audience when he'd played Hamlet at the Shakspeare's Globe and she'd held Hermione's hand when Hermione had informed him he would be a father on his own.

It was then when he'd decided to settle down and had bought a house in London's Hampstead Heath.

"Good morning love! Severus wake up! Your grandkid may be born today. We need to get going. I'm sure

Hermione was shaking him, but Severus still wanted to linger on his dream. He rather preferred to remember the day he'd learnt he'd have a child and not the fact that his little girl wasn't so little any longer and she was going to make him a grandpa soon.

"Severus!"

"Fine, dear Scholar, fine." She glared at him as always when he used the nickname. It had stuck ever since that night when they had first left together to uni. She didn't like it, but he found it fitting.

He washed his face and put his suit on and then towards the mirror to adjust his tie. Severus had to take as step back when he saw the reflection, the tie falling off his hands. "Hermione!" he called, unable to move.

"Severus, what's wrong? What happened?" she came in, drinking from a cup of coffee.

"L...look!" he pointed to the mirror.

She dropped her cup as well, the coffee spilling on the floor.

"I'm..."

"You're the Actor," they both said the same time.

"How? How?" he asked, turning to face her.

She hugged him tight. "I don't know. But don't you see? It means we had a second chance. Severus, we had a second chance."

He smiled sadly remembering his behaviour from years before.

"How much of a bastard I was to need a second chance?"

"Of, none of that! You are amazing Severus, I don't think you could have been any different. You helped so many kids with your work and made so many happy with your acting."

"But I didn't have you."

"What?"

"That's why I met The Actor. He was me without you. I can't live without you."

"Severus, you'll never have to," she murmured before kissing him softly. Hermione dragged him across, avoiding the coffee on the floor.

"Let's go, we will arrive late in Cokeworth otherwise. We can clean later. We need to pick Tonks and Remus from the Bar."

Severus nodded, looking one more time in the mirror.

"Why did again Mali choose to move from London to Cokeworth?"

"Because our family is there Severus and part of our lives too. Our grand-kids we'll grow in the Bar as well."

He smiled at her words. London was home now, but Cokeworth and The Bar would always have a part of their hearts. They intertwined their hands together and closed the door behind them.


End file.
